Body Blows review

I would like to start this review with a letter I wrote to Team17 some years ago (not really, but let’s imagine I did):

“Dear Team17,

My name is DarkwyndPT (not my real name, obviously) and I’m a big fan of your work, especially the Worms series. Me and my friends have spent countless hours playing these games, killing each other’s virtual worms (that sounded weird). I also enjoy the Alien Breed series, despite not being my cup of tea.

So when I’ve heard you decided to release an original fighting game exclusively for computers, I was ecstatic. Buying a console is too expensive where I live and I’m tired to beg my rich friends to let me win every now and then at Street Fighter II. It’s not my fault I always get the shitty controller or that Miguel’s mom likes me best. Where was I? Oh yes! The Amiga version looked awesome and couldn’t wait to buy the DOS version. Last night, I played it for the first time and my experience with it prompted me to write this letter just to ask you a simple question: WTF?!

Love, DarkwyndPT.”

And years later, that question remains unanswered. So, which game made me curse worse than a drunken sailor suffering from Coprolalia? One of the few original fighting games released exclusively for computers, Body Blows.

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